#FreeBritney - Take Control of Your Story

Britney Spears gave me life, and then she became a punch line.

She’s not the first and only celebrity of her era ( late 90s) to have a similar fate, however hers has become a protracted story and now, in 2021 we are finally examining it with new eyes. I watched the NYT documentary on Britney, and watching it, I was struck by the power of a story.

Her story has stuck to her like a thick fog since the 90s, and she’s been unable to shake it. Britney’s circumstances are fraught, this article will explain in detail what’s been going on for her, but I don’t think this movement is just about her. I think there is a metaphor for all of us here.

For those of you who would like the Cliff’s Notes, here’s my version: Britney’s story is one where at a young age she became hyper sexualized by the media machine. The Paparazzi stalked her. She was blamed by Justin Timberlake (when she was in her early 20s) as being unfaithful, and the reason the relationship ended. He talked about their sex life on the radio. The media villainized her for public displays of anger and aggression when the truth is she was essentially being stalked by them. At the peak of her “unraveling” in front of the world, she was likely suffering from postpartum depression, and the paparazzi were relentless. She was in her mid twenties, and oh boy, things were a mess. Her father, from whom she was estranged, swooped in and took over her life. She has been in her father’s conservatorship for close to 15 years, and is now, as a 39 year old woman, is seeking emancipation.

Not only do I feel for the woman behind this story, I am challenged by it.

By the way, this is just my version of Britney’s life. There are likely a million other ways you could tell it. And that, my friends, is what this blog post is about - the stories we tell ourselves and how to #FreeBritney.

There are lots of stories I tell myself about myself. I am married to them, and just like the images and accompanying headlines we saw about Ms. Spears in the 90s and 2000s, they are frozen in time as far as I am concerned. There is no nuance, they are just the way they are. Frankly, they can be damaging to me.

They are the story I tell myself of being unsuccessful and disorganized.

The story I tell myself about being a bad mom.

The story I tell myself about how I look.

The story I tell myself about being too emotional.

Too woo woo.

Too much of a dreamer.

I can be attached to these stories. These stories can feel like a bad conservatorship that I have prescribed for myself. These are the stories that keep me in line, that prevent me from destroying myself in public. These are the stories of me that I tell myself in the privacy of my own brain, and a story that some other people (who are clearly not my people) have contributed to over time.

I share this because I know that you do this too!

You have some stories in your head that your brain has picked up on and run wild with! These stories are on the front page of every bold decision you’ve wanted to make, but you’ve been too scared. These stories are like comfy sweatpants that you hate, but can’t seem to get rid of.

Your stories might be about money, about worth, about your weight, about likability about success. Whatever your story is about, I promise you, there is a new version of that story waiting for you to create.

Let’s look at our girl Britney. Her story is changing right before our eyes. Once the villainess, then the victim, now badass taking her father to court.

Let’s do that.

Let’s take our metaphorical fathers to court and free ourselves from the story that they have metaphorically controlled.

What would be possible if you were freed from your story?

What would need to be true to free yourself?

What would happen if your story became about control? That you had control, and that you were claiming it?

Britney has a lawyer and legion of Millenials behind her. Who do you need on your side?

The thing about stories we tell ourselves, is that we believe them. Sometimes it takes an outside eye to break us out of our stores. It takes some vulnerability to say, “Hey, I believe this is true about me. What do you think?”.

You can do this with a friend, a therapist, a partner. A good coach will take one look at your story and call bullshit on it. Create a new relationship with your stories, and claim your control in service of being the you you always wanted to be. Become the version of you that you are capable of becoming.

It’s time for you to #FreeBritney.

I hope to see you in court (metaphorical of course).

xo

Kim